President Trump’s jammies

I have a cough; I can’t sleep; I’m blogging at 3:35 a.m. eastern time.

Now that would be a good twitter feed.  Can you just imagine President Trump when he gets sick and can’t fall back to sleep?  It would go like this:

“Trump here.  In jammies.  I’m sick.  Tossed my cookies.  Can’t sleep.  Anybody care to chat about my golf game?”     #sickprezbummin

I was sick once in Bolivia, tainted beef burrito.  Was given coca leaf tea to help alleviate the pain.  It actually made it so I couldn’t toss my cookies!  I was sitting on the floor by the toilet begging God to let me puke and I couldn’t!  It was nasty.  You know, God created the barf mechanism to enable your body to get rid of poisons/toxins.  Hurling is good for you!  Don’t be mad when you get food poisoning – just don’t take coca leaf tea!

The transgender debate has me thinking.  Now I am a conservative, Bible-thumping Jesus Freak, hence the name of my blog.  You might expect me next to say that the LGBTQ crowd are a bunch of freakish wackos who deserve to burn in hell forever and you might expect me to say it with fire in my eyes and drool coming out of my mouth.  Unfortunately, that is not a caricature all too often.  What I actually believe is this:

1. I believe the LGBTQ lifestyle is an affront to a holy God.
2. I believe the American, conservative, evangelical lifestyle is an affront to a holy God.
3. I believe #2 is by far the most eggregious sin.

You see, those who claim to be disciples of Jesus Christ are held to a higher standard.  We know better.  We are redeemed.  We are new creations in Christ.  So why are we so hot and bothered over Joe wanting to be Josephine or Harriet wanting to be Harry when we are not at all in the slightest bothered by Rev. Timothy Stewart Randall looking at a woman to lust after her or coveting after my neighbors Ford F-150 Raptor with an eco-boost v6 and 10-speed trans with over 10,000 pounds towing capacity (yeah, I struggle with coveting that bad boy).  Why are we Bible-thumpers so angry at the sin of others when we don’t care about our own sin?  What a bunch of hypocrites we are.  I’m pretty sure the part about not judging others and the log in our own eye is still in the Bible somewhere.  Google search it in case you can’t find it in your dust-covered Bible you Bible-thumpers!

Those who are transgender:  I strongly disagree with your lifestyle.  I don’t hate you.  You are a human being just like me.  We are all created in the image of God.  But here is the bottom line:

1. If you were born with a pair and a unit, guess what?  God gave them to you for a reason.  Use them wisely.  They are gifts from a holy God who doesn’t make mistakes.  But if you really want to be a female, don’t just pretend.  Castrate yourself or have a sex-change operation.  Why sit on the fence?  It only creates difficulties for yourself.  Go ahead and do the medically-acceptable procedure and have your sex changed.  If you choose not to, stay out of the women’s restroom.  Men do not belong in the women’s restroom.  If you have a pair and a unit, you are a man.  Act like it!
2. If you were born without a pair and a unit, guess what?  God created you female.  Why in the name of Bozo the Clown would you want to be a dumb male like me?  That is flabbergasting.  We males are idiots all too often.  I mean seriously?  To be a beautiful creation and you want to twist that into a dumb male?  I can’t fathom that at all.  But, if you want to be a man, it’s a free country.  Go for it.  Just stay out of my restroom chick and you know why?  Because there are plenty of sick dudes out there who couldn’t care less if you are trans or not.  All they see is a pretty face with an opening down below and all they want to do is take advantage of you sexually.  Do you really want to risk all of that just because you demand your rights to act like a male even though God created you female?

One final thought:  never go shopping on the fourth Tuesday in February.  It could upset the space time continuum, cause Wall Street to panic-sell, and it might just cause cats and dogs to jump into gondolas and sing KUMBAYA!!!